Confessions

Apologies for not having a Meatless Monday recipe up today. We had internet issues last night so I wasn’t able to get one posted, but I should be able to get it up later this week. With regards to posting in general, I feel the need to confess that I’ve been feeling very uninspired lately.

I recently heard (though I can’t for the life of me remember where… maybe it was just a voice inside my head?):

“You don’t choose the cause. The cause chooses you. You have a purpose.”

I like to imagine that this is what happened to me. That it was fate which led me to that book that day. That the cause chose me because I had something to offer, some way of bringing this darkness into light, some chance at actually making a difference that matters.

And I tried. I really tried.

But I’m tired now.

I can only tell people so many times that they are eating cancer-causing, artery-clogging, environmentally-destructive, tortured, abused, mutilated, drug-filled, mass-produced, painfully-slaughtered, fellow creatures, then watch them continue to stuff their faces with it, before becoming emotionally and mentally exhausted.

It is difficult for me to describe in words (though some screams or tears might help), the immense frustration and sadness I feel from knowing, without a doubt, that the way we treat these animals is wrong, then watching those I know and love continue to support this heinous system.

I do realize that, sometimes, people don’t know the extent of the abuse, and I’d love to inform each and every single person. But to my extreme bewilderment and dismay, I’ve found that even when people become informed about what is happening, they still support it.

And I simply can not wrap my feeble little mind around this.

How can people knowingly pay for tortured animals? How can people who claim to be animal lovers not see how they are directly fueling some of the worst animal abuse imaginable? How can those who claim to care about the environment support an industry creating more greenhouse gasses than the entire transportation industry combined? How can people say they want to lose weight, lower their cholesterol, lower their blood pressure, and reduce their risk of cancer, then shove their mouths full of the ONLY THING that has cholesterol, the ONLY source of saturated fat, the thing that the American Institute for Cancer Research advises against in SIX OUT OF EIGHT of their tips to reduce your risk of cancer?

WHY DOES NO ONE CARE???

Not only is my sense of helplessness growing exponentially, but the toxic information overload is eating away at my soul (how many times can I read about humans intentionally shoving sharp objects up animals’ rectums before becoming completely jaded), and my trust in humanity is quickly fading.

So I sign off today not knowing where this blog will head. No, it’s not over, but until I find a renewed sense of faith in people to respond to cruelty and destruction by not supporting it, I can’t continue to pour out my bleeding heart day after day only to have it crushed again and again… it’s just too overwhelming.

8 thoughts on “Confessions

  1. eva

    I care. I’ve gotten so much from reading your blog. It really helped me a lot when I first transitioned. If I had a question about something, I’d google it. But more often than not, the best answers to my questions were found right here in your blog. I’m quite sure that you’ve made a difference to many others’ lives but just don’t know it.

    Sometimes, a person has to be at the right time in their life to be ready to accept the truth. Look at me, it took many years from that first seed that was planted ( when I watched the documentary “Diet for a New America” sometime in the 90’s) to when the lightbulb finally clicked on and I “got it” (when I saw the movie, “Earthlings” this past July). It took me that long to finally realize that all those undercover videos of animal abuse in farm factories weren’t just isolated incidents.

    Take a break if you need to, or blog about other things that are meaningful in your life for a while. But please, don’t give up! Your voice matters more than you know.
    .-= eva´s last blog ..Chili When its Chilly! =-.

  2. Kasey

    Your frustration is totally understandable. It’s hard to keep speaking up when it feels like no one is listening. But I hope after you’ve taken some time, you’ll realize it’s worth it. With enough of us speaking up, the message grows louder and louder.

    If it helps at all, you made a difference for me. New veg*ans are vulnerable to backsliding, and your blog made me know I wasn’t alone and helped to reinforce my decision. You gave me strength!
    .-= Kasey´s last blog ..Time for an update =-.

  3. Jenny

    Don’t give up! I love your blog, you write so brilliantly! Like Eva said, you might never know that you’re making a difference, but you really are! I have truly gained so much from your blog. I’ve been transitioning to a vegan lifestyle, initially for health reasons alone. Your articles gave me a whole new perspective on the ethical reasons. I hope you decide to keep planting those seeds!

  4. Christina

    Sometimes the best testimony is to let your actions speak for themselves. I know my opinions on food have changed much in the last year, but mostly due to health concerns. It was a great help that you and other friends of ours were on the same path. I can understand the frustration, but it doesn’t mean you haven’t been the motivating factor for change in many people’s lives.

  5. Liora

    Your blog inspired me to return to veganism too!
    Do you ever get a chance to recharge with fellow activists? A conference or something like that? Maybe that would help you to refuel…

  6. Molly

    Some thoughts from minds greater than my own:
    http://www.veganoutreach.org/advocacy/satya.html
    http://www.veganoutreach.org/articles/anactivistslife.html
    http://www.amazon.com/Aftershock-Confronting-Violent-Activists-Flashpoint/dp/1590561031/ref=wl_it_dp_o?ie=UTF8&coliid=I1BYPUV1RAZ1YJ&colid=2QZY7LM0ZTXIU

    I think you may be suffering activist burnout. That sounds trite, but I mean it. You need some time away. Time to yourself to recharge. To be selfish. To laugh. To *not* think about activism, veganism, environmentalism. To just be. Take it – you’ve earned it. And you NEED it, else you will go insane from the stress of caring too much.

    We will still be here if you decide to return. But even if you don’t, the movement will continue on – there are too many of us now to be stopped. Sure, there are many in the world who don’t care, but there are many who DO. All we can do is keep trying. And we will.

  7. Holly G

    I’m sorry you’re feeling so frustrated. I hope it helps to know that your blog has made a difference in my life. After I became a vegetarian I said I could never be a vegan. But since I’ve been reading your blog I think more and more about going vegan and have made changes in that direction. I’ve been more careful in my dairy purchases (all organic, from cows who aren’t treated with hormones). I’m eating less dairy, and I only eat eggs from chickens I know.

  8. Ruthy

    I’ve recently become vegetarian after having watched “meet your meat” on PETA. Never have I imagined what has been happening behind the door and it was a huge wake up call. I actually bumped into your blog through their link and I honestly think your blog is a fantastic and informative resource for those who deeply care about what they eat and the health overall.

    To know your frustration disheartens me as I get the same rejection when I try to convince omnivorous friends around me. I feel a little beaten up that my voice will never be heard. I guess they need to take some time to think and make an informed decision. To me it was a great choice as physically I feel much better off meet. I don’t feel the drowsiness even after I eat a lot!

    Keep up your good work. There are a lot more people than you think who get behind you.

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